This Time Next Year…

April 20, 2022

Written by Lynn Polin

This cherry blossom is right outside my bedroom window. Every morning I take a mindful pause and check in with it. Late April/early May is when it is in full bloom; gorgeous bright pink flowers that attract the soothing hum of busy bees. Within two weeks the blossoms get carried away by the wind and green leaves cover the branches. 

On my journey I would tell myself, “This time next year…”

“This time next year when I see this tree in bloom again it will be my turn.”

We tend to fall into a cyclical pattern in our lives. Pause and be curious - Is it time to shift these patterns or are you happy with them? Would you intentionally choose them...or not? 

There’s absolutely nothing that you MUST do. You get to make choices each moment of every day. So why not make choices that serve you? And that might mean saying “No.” In fact, you have permission to set personal boundaries and say “No” as much as you need to because it’s that important. Yes, it can be hard. But it doesn’t need to be so harsh. Try out these scripts. These are my top 3 favs:

  1. Thanks so much for the invite, but this just isn’t a good time for me. I really appreciate it though!
  2. I really wish I could, but I can’t right now.
  3. Thanks for thinking of me but I’ll have to miss it.

As important as it is to set boundaries it is equally as important to foster and tend to those relationships with those whom you care about. Our family and friends don’t understand; they just don’t. AND they want to support you but don’t know how. Tell them specifically what it is that you need (or don’t need). Have open heart-heart conversations with those who you are most vulnerable and be honest and raw and real about what they can do to best support you. That may be checking in with you weekly, sending a daily text, dropping off a meal or just listening empathetically. You have permission to extend your boundaries of NOs into the realm of YESes - Yes, this is what I need. 

Yes! Thanks for offering to drop off a meal. Thanks for thinking of me.

Yes! I really appreciate you just listening without judgment.

Yes! I would love to have you buy me a coffee.

Sometimes you need to lean into the fact that right now you just need a little extra TLC. Accept help when it is offered and commit to paying it forward when you can. 

And perhaps share this with those you love who are doing their very best to get it (but aren’t quite there just yet)...

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