SUPPORTING HER

February 23, 2021

Navigating your family-building journey is stressful for both partners and can cause added stress and tension in your relationship. How can you effectively support your partner as she navigates the journey?

  1. Be there both physically and emotionally.

Go to the doctors’ appointments and if you can’t be there, ask about them. Actively ask questions to show that you are engaged in the process. If she’s part of a support group or network, join with her. Making an effort shows that you are committed to her and your family-building journey.

  1. Listen without fixing it.

Sometimes she just needs someone to listen to and validate her thoughts and feelings without any judgement and without someone trying to find a solution for it. Sit with her in empathy. Just listen and nod your head to show that you are really hearing her. 

  1. Engage in open communication.

Sometimes you just both need to talk it out. Do so in a calm and collected manner. If you come to a crossroads, take a break and come back to it later. You can say, “I hear you and just need some time to process what you said and would like to ask that you do the same. Let’s talk about this again at another time.” Be sure to initiate the come-back-to-it-later conversation to show that it is important to you and that you are vested in coming up with a resolution.

  1. Ask what you can do to show your support.

“What can I do for you?” is a powerful question that shows her that you care. Maybe it’s taking on additional household responsibilities or doing something else that she normally does. She also may not know what she needs. Offer to just hold her.

  1. Share your feelings openly and honestly.

Let her know that you hurt too. Be open about your opinions and emotions. This not only shows her that you care about the process, but it’s important for your mental and emotional health as well.

  1. Do something extra.

Do something that shows you care for her: write her a love note, send her flowers, bring home chocolates, order out from her favorite restaurant. These gestures have a huge impact. 

By being there both physically and emotionally you are showing her that you care not only about her but about your journey to family-build together.

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